Dear Wolverine: Part One…I Propose A Name Change….
I get to research all kinds of odd things for my job, for example manufacturing dates for of Go-Bots and the history of manual tincan openers. Today I am researching mammalian species commonly found in the Canadian Rockies for a faunal analysis I am writing for an Alberta Archaeological site.
To the rant or Blarg will just scroll down…
So, I am researching wolverines and this fits nicely with the fact that Blarg and I have just seen “X-Men, The Last Stand” last night (loved it!) I browsed over to my beloved Wikipedia for information/useful links on wolverines (or Gulo gulo). This animal is the largest mammal belonging to the Weasel family. Yes, Weasel. Did you know that an actual wolverine “resembles a small bear with a long tail” and have “also been known to give off a strong, unpleasant odor, giving rise to the use of the term "skunk bear"? NO? Well, look it up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolverine.
So, tie this information into the X-Men and it is not quite the image we have on screen is it? I mean, if Wolverine (the guy) was to emulate the characteristics of an actual wolverine (a weasel) he would be uglier, shorter, fatter and other X-Men would always be holding their noses and making comments about his bathing habits ….
“Oh no, here comes Skunk Bear! Wow, he smells bad!
He must have eaten an entire wicker swing set*!”
To the rant or Blarg will just scroll down…
So, I am researching wolverines and this fits nicely with the fact that Blarg and I have just seen “X-Men, The Last Stand” last night (loved it!) I browsed over to my beloved Wikipedia for information/useful links on wolverines (or Gulo gulo). This animal is the largest mammal belonging to the Weasel family. Yes, Weasel. Did you know that an actual wolverine “resembles a small bear with a long tail” and have “also been known to give off a strong, unpleasant odor, giving rise to the use of the term "skunk bear"? NO? Well, look it up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolverine.
So, tie this information into the X-Men and it is not quite the image we have on screen is it? I mean, if Wolverine (the guy) was to emulate the characteristics of an actual wolverine (a weasel) he would be uglier, shorter, fatter and other X-Men would always be holding their noses and making comments about his bathing habits ….
“Oh no, here comes Skunk Bear! Wow, he smells bad!
He must have eaten an entire wicker swing set*!”
*wicker swing set= eaten something high in fiber and is very gasey....
Let’s talk about Wolverines hair (besides the fat that his hair getting bigger each movie). It seems that the X-Men creators (designed by John Romita, Sr or some guy, whatever) borrowed his hairdo from cougars…actually they mixed in a bunch of characteristics from large related felines (cougar, lynx & bobcat) to create Wolverine. This character has a lot more in common with cougars then weasels but the creators could not suddenly rename his character “Cougar” now could they? Can you imagine? I can….
Let’s talk about Wolverines hair (besides the fat that his hair getting bigger each movie). It seems that the X-Men creators (designed by John Romita, Sr or some guy, whatever) borrowed his hairdo from cougars…actually they mixed in a bunch of characteristics from large related felines (cougar, lynx & bobcat) to create Wolverine. This character has a lot more in common with cougars then weasels but the creators could not suddenly rename his character “Cougar” now could they? Can you imagine? I can….
Scene: Night, Darkened study at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. Two figures are lit by moonlight speaking in hushed tones, standing close to each other.
Cougar: (Grabs Jean) Leave him Jean! You know what you mean to me…..
Jean Grey: (sniffles, whines) But I love Scott!
Cougar: (Steps back) But Jean, I love you! (Pans up slowly from floor to the legs of middle-aged women in miniskirt, tight tube top, long red finger nails with clown-school makeup, big hair and holding highball.)
And End Scene
Ewwww….I mean seriously, where can you go from there?
The End Rambling Here…
Kimdianna Jones
posted by Tymkehl @ 8:27 a.m.
3 Comments:
Thus you have single-handedly reduced possibly the coolest X-Man (Wolverine) to the second-dumbest by re-naming him Cougar. I love it! I imagine a sequel called "X-Men: AbFab". By the way, the dumbest X-Man is Cyclops. The name implies he's only got one eye but of course he's got two. He's not incredibly huge with gargantuan strength, either. He's just a dude with laser eyes, stupid shades, and bad hair. Man, I hate Cyclops. *goes off on a tangent about hating Cyclops*
Anyhow, congratulations on the blog! I'll check back all the time, I promise. I'll be a faithful reader.
You have just givn me some great ideas for my next post!
sweet! i love that you have a blog! i think you should have a regular post on "observations from above: oddities witnessed in HUB and around town". hmmm... maybe i should post that. well, we could guest post on each other's blogs at any rate!
looking forward to reading more!
p.s. i'm glad that i can comment now :)
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